Well, I guess I'm fuckin' 50
Some say I'm old as fuck
Still sippin' Jim Beam whiskey
'Cause goddamn pandemic suck
I guess I'm fuckin' 50
No need to look it up
Well, I might be fuckin' 50
But I still don't give one fuck
Well, I guess I'm fuckin' 50
But I'm still standin' tall
Even though I can't hear shit
I can't see and I'm goin' bald
I guess I'm fuckin' 50
But I'm better off than you
Well, I might be fuckin' 50
But your mom still thinks I'm cool, whoo!
Well, I guess I'm fuckin' 50
I'm through drinkin' and blackin' out
No more talkin' shit about Oprah
Or fightin' at the Waffle House
I guess I'm fuckin' 50
A far cry from 17
Well, I might be fuckin' 50
But this dick's still long and lean
Alright
Aw, shit
Well, I guess I'm fuckin' 50
No more groupies o-on the bus (I gotta chill)
I don't hang much more with outlaws
I spend more time at Toys R Us
I guess I'm fuckin' 50
But that's okay with me
I still rock like a chair, middle finger in the air
With my granddaughter on my knee
Well, I guess I'm fuckin' 50
And as I stare down 51
I got a million crazy stories
And can't remember fuckin' one
I guess I'm fuckin' 50
But I still love to dance
Yeah, I might be fuckin' 50, ooh-ooh
(Oh, God Almighty Bob, Jesus, whoo!)
I think I just shit my pants
Well, I guess I'm fuckin' 50
Oh, gettin' old really sucks
Strippers used to kiss me
Nowadays it costs 20 bucks
I guess I'm fuckin' 50
But I still ain't no lame duck
And if the critics still don't dig me, fuck 'em
They can get these nuts, yeehaw!
Yee!